'I’m being treated like an ATM just because I married into their family': 27-year-old working mom earns a bonus at work and decides to save the money for her son's future, then gets accosted by her sister-in-law to cover her wedding costs instead

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  • AITAH for refusing to spend my work bonus on my sister in law's wedding? Okay. I honestly don't even know where to begin because this whole thing feels like a trap I didn't sign up
  • for. I'm 27. I work full time. I got a pretty decent performance bonus from work recently nothing wild, but enough to give me some breathing room. My plan? Use it for our kid's savings. Not even for myself. Not for a vacation. Not
  • even a new phone. Just stash it away for my son. Because let's be real life's expensive, and I don't want him to struggle the way I did growing up. Anyway. My husband knew about the bonus. I told him straight up. I said,
  • "Let's save this for our kid." He nodded. Agreed. Said I was being smart. But then came his sister's wedding. And suddenly, it's like my money isn't mine anymore. First, it was
  • little suggestions. "Maybe you could help with the flowers." Then it became bigger. "The venue deposit is due next week, maybe you could..." And before I could even blink, his mom was calling me, talking like it was already decided.
  • "You'll cover the catering, right? You just got that bonus." Excuse me?? | said no. I said it nicely at first. I explained our plan, reminded them that we wanted to build something for our kid. My husband? He just sat there.
  • Didn't back me up. Just sat quiet while his mom guilt tripped me over "family" and "celebrating once in a lifetime moments." When I didn't budge, they turned on me. His mom said I was selfish. His sister texted me some
  • passive-aggressive crop about how "some people only care about their own." My husband? Yeah, he finally said something. He said I was "overreacting" and it was just "one bonus" and we can "always save later."
  • Like... are you serious? I work full time, manage our bills, handle everything in the house, and you think I owe your sister my bonus? Now the house is weird. I barely speak to my MIL. My husband's cold. His sister's wedding is
  • next month and I was uninvited. They said, "It's best you don't come if you're going to act like this." Act like what? Like someone who just wants to protect her kid's future? I'm honestly at my limit. I feel like I'm being punished
  • for thinking ahead. Like I'm being treated like an ATM just because I married into their family. And no one seems to care how hard I work, or how scared I am about the future. So yeah... I said no. I kept the money for our son. And now they all hate me. Aita?
  • EduPepper NTA. The fact that your husband sat there and said nothing while his family ganged up on you is the biggest problem here. He's supposed to be your partner, not a silent spectator. You have a major husband problem, not a SIL problem.
  • ottttd NTA. The moment he said "we can always save later" he showed you his priorities. And its not with you or your kid.
  • Zelaznogtreborknarf Sounds like it should be used for your anti-wedding...aka divorce. NTA
  • Sea-Operation-6123 What is happening here?!? Who are these people? Do y'all live together? If SIL can't afford her own wedding then she should change her wedding plan.
  • FitzpleasureVibes ⚫ Dude your husband is the problem, he was the one who told his family about your bonus and then proceeded to guilt you / allow his family to treat you like sh... You should cut the husband loose. NTA.

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